Intuition is a double-edged sword. It can warn or “red flag” you in situations to keep you safe and out of trouble, but it can also make you question things that maybe are more of your imagination or insecurities than a real foreshadowing.
However you view intuition, the fact remains that everyone has it and can use it effectively to improve all of their relationships. The secret is to know how to use it to bring a positive response.
Below are seven ways your intuition can direct you and what you should do when it does:
- Something about your partner starts to weigh on your mind.
You just have a nagging feeling, sometimes without any provocation, that something isn’t quite right. Maybe it’s a change of routine or the consideration of a new job. Whatever it is, it is time to talk to your partner about it.
“Whether it’s true or not,” explains Ruby Warrington in a Bustle interview, “it’s probably signaling that it’s time to have an honest conversation with your partner.
These types of feelings aren’t limited to romantic interests. You can feel the same intuitive feelings about family or friends. The same rule applies. Talk to them when you get these feelings.
- Don’t resist your intuition because you fear the outcome.
Fear tends to take over once you have an intuitive feeling. This is especially true if you know why you have an increased intuition. It is difficult to move forward and address the issue because no one likes confrontation and, in truth, you may fear that what you feel is true. Even so, it is better to know the truth than live with intuition and fear. Another way to look at it is that the truth may be something different than what it appears to you. That would provide relief.
A television show once demonstrated this in a plot where a pastor was helping a woman in his church. He was somewhat secretive about it, which made his wife suspicious. She was normally completely trusting and tried to continue with this, but other women at the church were buzzing about seeing her husband with this woman around town. This was particularly true when he was seen entering a hotel with her.
The wife’s intuition was heightened as her husband remained more secretive at her questioning. Finally, he revealed that he was helping the woman get out of an abusive relationship and was paying for a room for her out of church money so she could be safe from her husband until she could get into a program. The husband said he had to be secret for her safety and out of his confidentiality as a pastor.
- Your gut feelings remain.
Some fears and feelings we have daily are based on our insecurities. Those go away after a few days and when situations change. For instance, your partner, friend, or family member may have had a bad day and that gave you a feeling you did something to offend them. They are fine the next day, so your feeling passes.
However, there are times our intuitive feelings remain. Feelings that stay with us are worth paying attention to because they may be trying to tell us something.
“Fears can be fleeting, but instincts haunt us through repetition,” said relationship expert and bestselling author Suan Winter in a Bustle interview.
- Your intuition is giving you a message even though your interpretation may be wrong.
Intuition is sometimes filtered through our own experiences and personality, so it could be that it is trying to convey something to you but you are misinterpreting it.
“Gut feelings always have a message for us,” Warrington said.
You may have a nagging feeling about your partner and may think they are cheating. The reality may be that they are wondering if they are going to get fired from their job so they are quieter and more secretive than usual.
The point is to talk about these thoughts and impressions before your intuition and interpretations of it can disrupt your relationship.
- You know something is “off.”
Those who spend time around a person will instinctively know when something is bugging them or off. Their mannerisms and habit change. Their personality changes. Things are just different.
The way to approach this is to first not to assume it is you causing the consternation. It isn’t always about you. Ask them what is wrong in an objective manner. They will probably tell you. If they don’t, wait until they are ready. Don’t change your reaction to them. Continue to love them and make them an important part of your life while they work through processing whatever problem is going on. They will appreciate your trust in waiting.
Sometimes, your instinct may tell you to back away for a time. That is okay too. They may need to be alone or maybe it is something going on with you. Taking a step back may help you see the situation more clearly.
This can happen with friends. Two women were best friends. They talked several times a week. At one point, one of the women started going through some harsh situations and started constantly talking about her problems. The other woman eventually quit calling her.
The woman in crisis noticed the change in her friend’s habits. Rather than confronting her, she decided to step back and think. She realized it was probably because of her drama and her friend just couldn’t listen to it anymore.
The result is the woman waited until her friend called her again. Her friend apologized and confirmed she just didn’t want to hear the drama anymore. They became friends again on new terms.
- A pattern emerges.
Our institution first comes into play and we start thinking about the meaning. Eventually, if suspicions hold, a pattern will emerge than heightens our intuition even more. This can be a lie that can be proven, a receipt in their pocket, or a weird phone call. Don’t ignore these things because they are confirming what you are already feeling.
- Your intuition brings out the truth.
Your partner will feel your intuition. It’s in your vibe, in the atmosphere, in their spirit. They know you know something. It may make them nervous or they may even repeatedly deny that something is wrong. In the end, they will tell the truth.
“Through a combination of guilt and self-consciousness, our partner may choose to unburden themselves by sharing the truth,” Winter said.
The key thing to remember is to control your reactions through this intuition process. You can’t control what your partner does, and you can’t control your intuition. You do, however, have complete control over your reaction to both.